Love comes in different shapes
The clock on the wall hits five o’clock. Finally, I get to go home. With a few courtesy goodbyes she quickly leaves the office, goes down in the elevator, and out into the fresh air of the street. The sky is dark and the wind cold. She shivers and hurries to her car. The parking lot is full and she can’t quite remember in which row she parked. Annoyed at the weather and herself, she goes up and down the parking lot repeatedly pressing the button on her car keys waiting for the car to respond.The red break lights flash twice and a beep gives her car away. Finally.
Inside it’s not so cold. She throws her purse on the passenger seat and puts the keys in the ignition. She backs the car out and heads for the exit, but the damage is done: five other cars are waiting at the gate. I’m going to be late. She thinks in a panic. He’s going to be hungry.
She hates how people drive. She watches the front car stop too far from the card reader and the driver clumsily climbs out. She thinks that the Germans are right to have an intensive eight week driving school and that people get their licenses here way too easily. Finally, the man gets back in and drives off. The rest of the procession is quicker and she gets onto the main road. Two lights and she’s on the highway. She likes her place of work, in no small part due to its geographical location. A shorter commute means she can spend more time at home.
She is still on the highway when the rain starts. In frustration she audibly clicks her tongue. The traffic will now slow down and she’ll come home later than usual. He’s going to get upset. She squeezes the wheel. He’s going to ignore me all night… or worse… She grids her teeth and turns on the wipers. Once she got stuck at work and came home after 8pm. He went out that night and didn’t come home for three days. But then her heart warms as she remembers how they met. It was raining then too. She was just leaving the bar with her friends, but they headed left and she had to go right. She had no umbrella and her jacket was quickly getting wet. The bus stop was only forty meters away when the bus rushed by her, so she decided to run for it. Not paying attention to her feet, she stepped into a puddle, lost her balance, fell, and watched her bus drive off into the distance. Wet, her hands scuffed, lying on the pavement is when she saw him. After that day, no matter how inconvenient, she liked the rain.
The red lights of the car ahead bring her out of her nostalgia and she is forced to hit the brakes. The ABS kicks in and she feels the vibrations in her foot. She lets up and taps the pedal to slow down on the wet road. She feels a little embarrassed, she should know better than to slam the brakes. She checks the signs and notes that she is four exists away, so she lets herself slip back into thought.
From that day on, they spent practically every evening together, doing simple things like watching TV and cuddling on the couch. Things that she always thought you should do with your husband. Sure, he was a little demanding at times. He was a very picky eater and, especially in the beginning, she often went out at night to find something he would eat; sometimes he would ignore her for hours, seemingly mad, but she would have no idea what she did wrong. But all of it was worth it – ‘cause when he sat down next to her, without words she knew he’d forgiven her, and they would just watch TV for hours.
The phone rings. It’s Annabelle, a friend who still hasn’t stopped calling. She thinks about picking up, but then she knows how the conversation will go: she’ll make an excuse as to why she didn’t show up to the last big thing, and Annabelle will try to convince her to go out tonight, even just for a cup of coffee, and she will make another excuse as to why she can’t do it. Both sides know the truth, but neither wants to say it out loud. Annabelle is the one with the problem. They both know why she doesn’t want to go, she wants to go home to him.
Finally, her exit. A red light, a green light, a turn right, a few more metres and she’ll be home. But instead of stopping at her house she drives past.
Annabelle is standing outside the house. Why? She gets scared. And then doubt creeps in. Deep down she knows that it isn’t right, the way she’s living her life, and she knows her friend is rightfully concerned for her. Annabelle always had a good love life, she doesn’t understand that men don’t just fall for me. A shiver goes down her spine. Deep, deep inside she knows she is making excuses. It’s my life and I can do whatever I want. It’s my choice. She stops around the corner and thinks about confronting Annabelle. What would I tell her? Yell at her? For what? Coming by unannounced? Confronting Annabelle means confronting the truth and she just isn’t ready for that.
Luckily, Annabelle leaves the cover of the canopy above the door and darts for her car. A few short moments later, the black sedan pulls out onto the street and drives off. Thank God… She drives up the driveway, grabs her purse, and gets out of the car. The rain pounds on her and she scurries to the door. Maybe Annabelle is right… maybe I can go out for a cup of coffee… I’m sure he won’t mind… With a heavy heart she opens the door and then those beautiful blue eyes look at her and her heart melts. I’m right in my choices. She thinks, picking him up and feeling the warmth spread though her chest as he starts to purr.
